Even though I identify myself as an American Asian, I struggle with racial issues regarding my adoption. Throughout my childhood and into my adulthood I noticed how popular transnational adoption is, and how common the white American parents and Asian baby combination is today. I wholeheartedly love my adoptive parents but I live with the constant feeling of abandonment. It is a topic that I do not discuss with my friends and family; it is rather taboo and makes most people feel uncomfortable because they cannot relate to me, but then, who do I have to relate to? It seems that society and other people choose to define you by what serves them best, and not by your own merit or personal interests and gains. As I get older my ego identity is beginning to emerge, as I am establishing a “psychological connection between childhood and adulthood” (Muuss 43). Even after coming out of my adolescence and crescendoing into adulthood, however, I remain cultureless, being redefined daily for who and what I am. I am stuck in a constant state of redefinition of self. Who knows what I will be identified as tomorrow.



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